Now That’s What I Call Quite Good: Evil Alien Conquerors

evil alien conquerors indexEvil Alien Conquerors is almost the definition of a marmite film, if you like absurd silliness with lots of shouting and ridiculous dialogue then it might well be a film you love, but at the same time I could completely understand why it could be one of those films that rubs you up the wrong way. Written and directed by Chris Matheson, one of the writers of the Bill and Ted trilogy, I fall in to the former category as this big old bag of idiocy entertained me a great deal, with rare lead performances from two of my favourite actors, Chris Parnell and Diedrich Bader, both of whom give it their all and a bunch of other people’s all too.

It’s almost (but not quite) a one joke premise in that the two Evil Alien Conquerors are arrogant in the extreme despite their own many short comings, and believe they will be able to take over the planet with ease. After an initial bit of scene setting Du-ug (Chris Parnell) and My-ke (Diedrich Bader) are transported to Earth, their mighty swords are shrunk to the size of a toothpick but even despite that they think killing humans will be easy.

Over and over again their stupidity generates a lot of laughs, from the way they are utterly incompetent and even end up being menaced by a cow, and then are beaten up by two local kids, while they make friends with local fast food employee Kenny (Michael Weston) who is strangely impressed by the two even though they make it very clear that he will soon be one of their many, many victims.

The two aliens are quirky creations, along with their over confidence they are horrified by nudity, quickly addicted to Smirnoff Ice, and sometimes burst in to song and sound like a minstrel from olden times. They come out with lots of nonsensical exclamations, both are attracted to two rather hairy women, while the doomsday contraption they create is hilariously rubbish and even worse than the dodgy nonsense MacGyver used to come up with.

As well as a minor romantic subplot the second half kicks up a gear as the horrendous giant Croker (Tyler Labine) is sent to Earth to finish the job our two antiheroes have failed to do, but he too is shrunk during the journey but refuses to acknowledge this and continues to pretend to be enormous. He gets caught up with a minor subplot involving Kenny’s slutty roommate Ron (Daredevil’s Elden Henson) and something he’s created called “The Bellytwister”, and there’s a lot of fun slapstick and violent ridiculousness as the film comes to a close.

A fish out of water comedy, if those fish are arrogant, stupid and very weird, it’s a film which clearly has a low budget, with it getting a lot of use out of two mannequins which only vaguely look like Parnell and Bader, but it doesn’t care about this and gets a lot of laughs out of the idea. As mentioned it’ll only appeal to people with a quite specific sense of humour, but if you like sci-fi comedy which has it’s tongue stuck to it’s cheek for the entire running time and gel with the daft dialogue and performances this will entertain and then some.

★★★1/2

Alex Finch.
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