NextUp Review: Lauren Pattison – Lady Muck

The debut hour from Lauren Pattison details the previous eighteen months of her life as she graduates from University and moves to London to become a professional comedian. Alas it causes the end of her relationship and makes her somewhat insecure, and so she decides to find out why everything fell apart, but unfortunately she doesn’t mine anything particularly interesting out of the experience.

During the first twenty minutes there’s a joke about how when she was working at Boots she dealt with a customer buying a sod load of condoms and diarrhoea relief tablets which is open mic stuff, and bad open mic material at that. It’s not a good start, and it doesn’t get any better when she talks about the break up, commenting “Absence did not make his heart grow fonder, absence just made his dick wander”, which might rhyme but it’s predictable and dull, the kind of material I’ve seen countless times before. Occasionally Pattison comes off as quite patronising too, what with the shocking revelation that it’s best to treat children like adults when talking to them which she delivers in such a way as to suggest that no one had ever considered this before, as are her musings that people are too quick to tell kids off but when it comes to praising them that doesn’t apply. Which isn’t my personal experience of the world either, not with my own parents of course, they beat me regularly for shits and giggles but it applies to all the friends with kids I know, which is a fair few given how depressingly old I am.

27 minutes in she claims she realised she didn’t have a show for Edinburgh so she decided to get in contact with her ex-boyfriend Jamie and ask him what he didn’t like about her, but after he doesn’t turn up it bleeds in to a story about a horrendously twatty man giving her advice after a gig which will earn your sympathy, and though she makes some very salient points she doesn’t really do much with it other than comment on how unpleasant a situation it was. There’s one funny moment where she compares the experience to her talking to a builder but otherwise it doesn’t deliver big laughs. A segment on dating apps follows which is one of the most tired of subjects for a comedian to cover, and once again though it creates the odd smile there’s nothing more than that.

She does have some decent jokes, there’s a fun bit about buying potato smiley faces to persuade a checkout guy that she’s not suicidal, some self effacing material when it comes to her drama degree, and a bit about while working at Boots she learnt the  menstrual cycles of the regular customers to endear herself to them which is very funny, but otherwise laughter comes only rarely. It was a struggle to stick with it for seventy minutes and I wouldn’t have done so if it wasn’t for the purpose of this review, and the vague hope that it would improve which didn’t ever happen.

Pattison’s undoubtedly confident and shows a certain amount of promise, but this set isn’t really worthy of your time. Catch her doing twenty minutes on a mixed bill and you’ll probably have a great time, and perhaps her next show will be stronger, but right now I have to confess I felt disappointed by Lady Muck. I always feel guilty when writing less than positive reviews and that doubly applies here considering it’s a show about how insecure Pattison was for a very long time, but this just doesn’t cut the mustard and instead rubs it all over it’s face, leaving you with a sight which might make you smile but little more than that.

Alex Finch.
https://twitter.com/comedytowatch

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